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  • Feelings vs. Reality

    Hey luvs!!!

    I am so encouraged by today’s post simply because I feel like it can possibly help others just as much as it helped me….just by writing it and going off of my thoughts.

    As women, a lot of times we are told and we know that we run, live, breathe, and move based on our emotions/feelings. I have honestly been in deep thought about this, simply because, I was always told that I have no feelings or that I am so much like a dude. When in all reality I do have feelings and emotions, I have just learned/still learning not to allow those feelings to cloud my thoughts or determine my next move. At times we allow how we feel in the moment to determine what our next move will be, without taking out anytime to ourselves to really consider the benefits or even the negatives of the situation at hand. Moving and deciding like this is never healthy or beneficial. Not in a relationship, business, or just your personal life period.

    One thing I had to realize, was how to separate my feelings from reality!

    Where it was very easy to type this out, it wasn’t easy at all to tackle the task at hand.  I am not really an emotional person, therefore addressing my feelings was the complicated part for me. I never really took out time to connect with how I really felt in anything. Not in relationships, business, or friendships. It took serious time to myself and deep observation of my feelings as a whole,  what was it that I felt deeply about.(Honestly…….behind the mask) What was it that moved me, what were the things that could truly penetrate my soul and make me reconsider all of my actions. Once I realized what those things were, then I was able to distinguish the difference between which situations in my life needed feelings and which ones needed strict reality. This reflection helped me to realize how many people I have pushed away based on how I felt in the moment. Never considering who they had been to me in the past, the connection we may have had at one point, or how the relationship could possibly help me grow. I also noticed how out of tune I was with my own feelings, period.

    Reality at times can be very difficult to deal with. It sometimes can appear to be the complete opposite of what we really want and in all honesty not where we want to be. And because we look at reality that way, then our feelings get involved and decisions are made in hurt, disappointment, and in an instant a life altering decision has been made, and we leave the situation harshly discouraged. Which is why it is so important for us to know the difference and be able to make decisions with a clear mind. You never really realize how much of an effect your feelings can have on your life until after you take a bit of time to reflect back on some of your past decisions.  One of the truths that I had to face about myself  and my reality was that I am truly a get you before you get me type of person. I don’t like to be placed in situations where I could be hurt or feel anything that came close to hurt. Therefore in every relationship/friendship that I may have been involved in I always prepared for the worst rather than even thinking about the possibility of having a best. My reality was that I carried a lot of negative, and a lot of the decisions I made were out of anger and hurt. Some of the decisions I made at the time cut out some very important people and provided me with different routes in life, possibly ones that could have been best for me at the time. 

    I know it wasn’t until I truly reflected on some of my own decisions that I was truly helped. Which is mainly why I wanted to share, no I don’t have a definite answer or resolution, but I discovered a starting point and decided to share.  This is not really topic of resolution, but a topic of realization. Please share with me some of your experiences with this and how you have been in the past and possibly the present, effected by the decisions you’ve made based on your feelings in that moment.


    Life only offers you one shot, so always prepare your best play!




    1. Ashley Perkins
      September 18, 2018 / 7:52 pm

      This is so case and point for me right now. How to maneuver around my feelings and proceed in positivity. I do most times allow my feelings to determine how I act or react to things and people and I’m working diligently to get past that. Love you. Thanks so much for sharing this.

      • styledbyjai
        September 19, 2018 / 4:14 am

        I appreciate you taking out time to read and thanks for sharing!!!!

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