True friendship is when you walk into their house and the wifi connects automatically.
-Unknown-
Now let me first start off by saying this, the picture shown does not have all my friends in it, it just so happens to be one of my faves. (because my people are PETTY lol)
Friendship these days are so different than what they used to be. In all honesty I guess the question is what is a friendship exactly? What is the true meaning? How does it work? What all does it entail? Can it be broken?
With all of the listed questions above, I truly have no answer, I can only go based on what I’ve seen and experienced. I am not at all friendly nor do I have the best friendship advice to give. I have however had a friendship that was formed and lasted for some years, other than with my family members. I have witnessed a few friendships, ones that made it look so beautiful, made it seem like a stress reliever, one that seemed very natural and not at all like a burden. When I think about friendship that’s the one that I’ve always wanted, but in this day and age it seems so hard to find. I am the type of person that doesn’t really love often and takes a while to even like another, but once I do love or like, I love and like hard. Meaning I am willing to go to the edges of the earth or do anything and everything for the ones closest to me. Once I grew and matured I realized that, that could be an issue that I have, one that could have possibly tainted a lot of my relationships and friendships. Now that I am growing in this thing called adulthood, I see things a lot clearer and a bit different. That doesn’t mean I care any less or that I wouldn’t still do the same for the people I care about, but my expectations of others have changed. Everyone doesn’t have a Jai heart, mind, or soul and that doesn’t make them bad people, it only makes us different, and where they are strong I may be weak and vice versa.
I have learned that friendships are made to bring out your best, but also reveal to you your weaknesses. Normally if you pay very close attention to friendships, the people in them are completely different. But, for some reason they are so strong and so natural that it seems more like a family, the real ones that is. I have seen a few in my lifetime and some I’ve admired, but for some reason they were ones I couldn’t seem to manage. When I was in middle school, I met this girl on my second day, she was very quiet and calm. I was quiet and calm, but she was a very meek spirit and a true calm soul, my opposite,we became so close.We talked in class and the classes we didn’t have together we write letters to make sure we never missed a beat. She knew everything about me and I knew all of her business too. She was my best friend, we talked everyday and even when we got to high school we still made sure we kept up with each other. Every week she would write me a letter and I would make sure that I returned the kind gesture, but somewhere it just kind of stopped. I would see her and I would say hey and we would talk about how we need to catch up and get our friendship back on track, but for some reason or another we never did. To this very day I still remember her being one of my best, best friends ever, not because she done so much, but because she was strong enough to tell me when she thought I was wrong and I never heard her repeating any of my business or talking about me behind my back. Thanks Nikki (lol) miss you girlfriend!!!
Now I am not saying that I haven’t had any other true friends or that I haven’t built other relationships because I have. Even now I have great friends, but most of them are family as far as I’m concerned, well and the fact that our parents are truly related. I do have friends outside of them as well, but I had to learn my own flaws before I could ever invite someone else in to walk with me. I have come across some horrible ones and I have also screwed up some great ones, but I thank God that I was able to possibly repair the ones that I could have broken.
I wrote this simply because I have been receiving a lot of questions and comments in regard to friendships and how to handle them. I am not the person with all the answers, but I am a person with a bit of experience in this thing we call life. Friendship is something that takes time and dedication. It also requires loyalty and respect for all parties, if that is not something that you think you have then working on yourself first should be a priority. In order for me to even be friends with my family and friends now I had to right a few wrongs and work on Jai. Now my friends are some of my biggest supporters and critics, they get on my last nerve, they always say I’m wrong, and they keep me laughing and going, but it took time for it to get to that point. Learn to be a friend before going to look for them. Build bonds that are strong and unbreakable and make sure your part is played. No its not a marriage, but its a relationship that you want to last.
A friend is something you have to know how to be not something you just become.
-Jai-