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  • Her Over Here!!

    It takes a lot to love what you had no help in creating, a lot to be forced to love what you know nothing of, and a lot to love what’s just thrown in front of you or better yet on you. Loving ourselves as females for some of us is the hardest thing to do at times, most times we see nothing but our flaws and all the things we’ve done wrong. Its not until you realize that your best is always far more than good enough.

    There are so many women out here getting all of this unnecessary work (in my opinion) done, changing what and who it is that they really are. Does that mean that I am completely against all body alterations or plastic surgery not at all, but I am against it when it seems to lower your pride and alter how it seems that you look at yourself. Beauty rests in the eye of the beholder and as far as I was taught, your the first to see your own beauty. People will only respect and treat your beauty how you present it. Am I saying that it is always easy to love your flaws or yourself period? Not at all, especially not the physical ones, you know the ones that everybody can see and give their personal opinion on.

    When I was young I had the worst acne and I hated how skinny I was, especially when it seemed like all the other girls had shapes, pretty skin, and not to mention pretty hair. My mother was a beautician so my hair was never really something that I considered a flaw, but one thing I hated is I DIDN’T look like her. In my eyes she was the prettiest thing that God could have ever made and I couldn’t understand how she was my mama and I looked nothing like her. I wanted so badly to have something like her, her shape or even her hair. I never felt confident in who I was or what I looked like and its something I never really shared with others, but I knew that I wasn’t good enough, NOT EVEN for myself.


    Once I got older and I began to understand that God made no mistakes and everyone was made in his image and had something that resembled him, this is when I learned to love me. I learned that although I may not look like my mom, there was still something about me that HE thought made me beautiful. Also something about me that was made in his image and that could be the one thing that I hate. I used to talk to my sister all the time about how pretty I thought her skin was and how I wanted her hair for myself, never realizing that she was going through the exact same thing that I was. She actually felt a tad bit worst than me and here I am pouring my issues into her, when in all honesty I knew she wanted to pour into me. There were several really pretty girls at my high school and all the guys seemed to really like them, that’s who I wanted to be in my mind. That’s who I felt I needed to hang with and be very close to, simply because I wanted to be noticed. Sooner than later though I one day realized that may beauty was something that stood out to others as well. I learned not to doubt my beauty and embrace every flaw. It wasn’t always easy and didn’t happen over night, but once I began to feel like I was beautiful inside and out, you couldn’t tell me nothing. (lol).  Ever think of how great it could be if we continuously build each other up and only brought positive vibes and words. Of course correct when needed, but in such a loving way that its hard to stay and be mad.

    Learn to love yourself and even your deepest flaws, embrace the mold that God has created and be the vibe, better yet the woman that other young women can look up to. Always remember that even when your alone, there is still someone watching.






    1. Brenda Williams
      May 16, 2018 / 9:23 pm

      I simply love this post because it some up in a nut shell that until we as females:girls;women,friends and sisters realize that real beauty that’s attractive and shines even in dark places is when the person herself realizes that her beauty is from inside out “become a better You when no one is looking and you can embrace every truth about you and still no your beautifully and wonderfully made and it’s not the physical part of you that total 100%beaty that’s only a 10% value the real value is who you are and how you not only embrace and make your atmosphere positive but using the inner you through God to cause others to feel beautiful and positive about themselves as well.My truth is that I always felt pretty cute but I didn’t know how to embrace my own beauty until I allowed God to do a work in the inside that blurred my vision and kept me from seeing myself as God saw me,man when I got it “what an humbling experience “Not only do I feel I have a true beauty but I feel that there is no obstacles that can stop me.FREE only GOD can do this through Sincere living on purpose for him.Love you Brit.and continue to stand and speak your truths knowing that your truths have purpose that will cause other women to be free also.Mama will still and always say your the most beautiful gift besides Jesus that God gave me,keep telling your truth.❤️❤️❤️

      • styledbyjai
        May 23, 2018 / 6:26 pm

        Thank you so much Mommy, your input and teachings have helped to groom me into the woman that I am today. I must say that I am more than grateful!! I love you!!

    2. Michell Haywood Haynes
      May 23, 2018 / 1:22 pm

      You are your mother’s daughter! Meaning you are just like her. Yall are bold, beautiful and have a light that shines through any obstacle that comes your way. The way you blog and the way your mother preach is so transparent and necessary! People are looking for realness and someone they can relate to. I believe when you truly find your inner peace, it’s hard not to be happy for others and lift them up, and tell them about your struggles and how you over came them. I encourage you to continue being genuine and let your light continue to shine!

      • styledbyjai
        May 23, 2018 / 6:28 pm

        Thank you so much Michell!! I count it a true blessing and definite compliment for my mothers characteristics to be seen in anything I do. I thank you for the encouragement and I am definitely seeking the strength to continue to be as transparent as possible!!!

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