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  • Insecurities


    -Are they obvious flaws that’s noticed by everyone or just you?

    -Beauties that we see in others that for some reason we just can’t seem to find in ourselves?

    -Things that we just can’t accept that God has given us?

    Webster’s Definition:

    – uncertainty or anxiety about oneself ; lack of confidence.

    Insecurities run much deeper than we ever like to give credit for. The sad part about it is we as women are the only ones (that I have noticed) that seem to wear them in our everyday wardrobe. Insecurities have the power to murder the confidence that we do have, they can also completely scare you out of any thoughts or dreams you may have.

    Its something that every human being acquires, regardless of whether or not they want to admit it. We all have that one thing or that something that we wish we could change about ourselves or just wish we didn’t have. The thing is, you have to learn to live with it and make it one of your biggest assets rather than pointing it out as one of your biggest flaws. Now before we go any deeper into this, please allow me to say “Insecurities are not only a physical asset, but it can be mentally attained as well as spiritually.”

    Some of us take our insecurities and allow them to overpower us. What I mean by that is instead of wearing them we allow them to wear us. The thing to remember is that God makes no mistakes and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The one thing that I have learned is that I was beautifully and wonderfully made in his image and the one thing that I want to remove could be the one part of me that is exactly what he has. Yes, right now I am referring to physical insecurities because those are the ones that stand out the most and seem to be the most common. There are so many body altering options out here these days, that you would think everyone was self secure. I can only speak from personal experience, so here we go. I do not have perfect skin and I hated that. Sometimes even now I try to find each and every regimen to make my skin all one color and smooth as a baby’s bottom. Well clearly it hasn’t done that yet, but the difference between Jai in the past and Jai now is that I have accepted it and learned how to apply my makeup to fit my need. When I was in high school I would come home crying asking my mom, why do I have all these bumps on my face and the other girls at school don’t. She would always tell me ” With or without them you are beautiful and right now its just extra decoration.” Now most would feel as if that’s not good enough and would want more, but for me that was what I needed as a child and of course a little Proactiv but she said enough to try and build me up as a female and make me accept me for me.

    Mental insecurities are not as competitive as physical ones, but they are just as deadly if not more. So many times we listen to these celebrities or successful business owners and “what not” and their stories and just swear it was so easy and we should take that same road. Being successful is a state of mind and something that you can actually control. Its not always going to come about the same way that someone else’s did, your road could be easier or maybe even harder depending on how God feels about it. Never try to be like someone else, but always write your own story. Use the next person as inspiration or even as a silent mentor, something or someone that will motivate you to get to where your trying to go. A mental insecurity can literally tare you and your dreams down. It has the power to make you lack confidence in the knowledge that you once knew you had, (the knowledge you paid for(college)), make you settle for something or even someone you know good and well you don’t deserve, and lastly it can make you stop believing in your talents and gifts. I once seen someone with stickers on every mirror that they owned and to myself I thought this is crazy and why is this up here? I then began to read the stickers and post it’s and I realized that each one was inspirational, something that would boost the confidence of that person and something they would have to see on a day to day basis. Now to me, I felt like you can easily say this to yourself and go on, but I have learned now that it is good to see what you are and be reminded of who you are aspiring to be. That makes the obvious obvious and is something that you can’t say you missed or forgot. Prayer is also something that truly works for me. I pray every morning before anyone wakes up, that I will have peace, patience, serenity, and a push for the day. Show me the things that I need to do in order to attain the things and goals that HE has set out for me. So many times we miss that and feel like it doesn’t really make a difference, but trust me it does. I have truly learned to accept me with the following steps below.

    -Prayer in the morning

    -List of goals and a time table

    -Look in the mirror and a boost me speech

    -An acceptance quote

    -A thought back on where I was and where I am today

    -Who I am and what I represent and whose I am

    These few steps have truly help me in my areas of insecurity and I feel as though I have come quite a long way by following them.

    I do hope and pray that you all can learn to embrace who you are mentally, physically, and spiritually. The thing that will help the most is if you take notice into what someone else lacks and compliment that, you will notice that makes you feel better and helps you to notice the compliments you should try to give yourself!!!!

    Confidence is silent. Insecurities are LOUD!!!!!!






    1. Sonja Moore
      June 6, 2017 / 1:57 pm

      Awesome and encouraging words!!! #embrace#confidence love it…

    2. styledbyjai
      June 7, 2017 / 3:19 am

      Thank you so much Sonja!!!!!

    3. Tina Bass
      February 7, 2018 / 12:25 am

      LOVE your site!!!

      • styledbyjai
        February 7, 2018 / 7:07 pm

        Thank you so much for reading and supporting!!!!

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