Problems are not stop signs; they are guidelines.
So, I was riding in the car with John and we were just talking about relationships and the role we play in them. This was a convo that really sparked my interest simply because all of the things that I have realized about myself in different relationships. I’m an introvert so building random relationships and meeting new people is not really my thing. But, when I do find myself involved with someone after some time and after building trust and rapport with that person, I give my all. I am who I would want in a friend at that point. This is one of my issues, because I give so much, I normally end up cutting people off or just steering away from the so-called relationship, because I don’t feel it’s being reciprocated.
Problem: I look for myself in others and it took me a while to realize everyone is not me and will not act or react to certain things like I do. After cutting off so many people and relationships, I realized that this was my problem and something that I needed to adjust in order to have meaningful and long-term friendships. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel as if my expectations are high, but it did take me a while to come to the realization of my own issues rather than always blaming the other party. Also, this realization didn’t come to me overnight, but it took me a while. Once I took a moment to notice, accept, and was willing to work on my issue, I was then able to have longer relationships with people.
The point is, if the same situation continues to reoccur, at some point you have to possibly take a look at yourself. Relationships aren’t always necessary, and the outcome isn’t always the same or yours to take blame for. But, it’s important to know and take notice to the recurring situations. I noticed that my friendships didn’t last long and that normally I was the one disappointed or the one that ended it. So, although it took me a while, I came to terms with what I now use as a daily reminder “Stop expecting me out of others”. Focusing on you and taking notice to your issues isn’t a bad thing at all. Changing and evolving is a daily thing and in order to evolve you must first grow. True growth comes from being willing to change the outcome of situations that seem to happen over and over again.
My growth will not be stunted because I was afraid to approach and assess my own error. In order to grow I must be willing to change the things that are needed in order to succeed, not only mentally or physically, but spiritually.