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  • Let’s talk about it!

    Sex is the seed, love is the flower, compassion is the fragrance.

    -Rajneesh-

    Real deep quote huh, make you feel all tingly inside? Today, we are going to talk about sex. There have been some situations in my life that have honestly made me think about what and how much this contributes to relationships. Is sex really as important as people make it seem? Is sex just for you to reach a peak or does it really mean more than that. There are people out there that only enjoy the peak portion of sex and then there are people out there that crave the intimacy of it. Neither is bad, its simply preference based.

    I’ve been a part of conversations where both parties exist. While observing this of course it made me think about myself. So, I will start with this, when I began to have sex with my husband, it was a thing thing. Meaning, we were humping like rabbits (lol). At that point, I really didn’t care nor did I want to figure out what my preference was as far as sex was concerned. All that I knew is I liked it and was available anytime lol. Now, of course that doesn’t always remain the same, but we were on a roll for quite some time. It seems as though we just couldn’t get enough of each other. But, throughout all of this touching and feeling we had going on, we never paused on making sure that we knew and developed a healthy and stable love for one another. That is one of the key parts in relationships in my opinion. From what I’ve observed so many people get lost in the sex and forget about the goal or what they were originally looking for.

    I have open discussions with the people that are close to me. Lately, those discussions have been mostly about sex. Some of the ladies are teaching me a lot, but we all help each other in different ways. I hit a complicated patch in my marriage when I got sick. My seizures were unpredictable and they would have me out of commission for about a week or two. When I began taking the medicine that was prescribed, it slowed and almost murdered my libido and kind of took my hormones on a crazy ride. This is where I felt that my marriage would be weakened. Not because I wasn’t sure about the connection or the depth of our love, I just know where we came from and where we were now.

    During this time, I discovered that covering our basis and making sure that we had a foundation was a great route to take. Also, during this time I became even more aware of the reason that I chose this great man and of course that he was all types of amazing. And while sex was important in our marriage, it was not the foundation of it. Now, don’t get me wrong you have to make sure in a relationship that both sides are being fulfilled, but you also have to make sure that the relationship is substantial, if you want it to last. I knew that even with my health situation, my husband still had needs. So, I wanted to discuss them, so that while we were on this journey, I could make sure that I was keeping him just as pleased as I was with his strength. So, start that off, we began to talk about what we wanted and needed at the time, because the need for sex hadn’t died for either of us.  With those talks we came to find that we both had different preferences when it came to sex. That season allowed us to get to know each other sexually, simply because we had more time to talk (lol). Those talks became deeper and deeper and the things discovered about one another were beneficial to our relationship. Those talks are still very present in our relationship and whenever there is an issue regarding intimacy/sex in our home we are free to discuss it with one another. Build a relationship and foundation outside of sex and learn what your preference is. In what way does sex satisfy you?

    Sex means a lot in a relationship, but does it mean everything? Find out what sex does for your relationship and ENJOY!

    -Jai-

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