Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace!
How important is peace to you? It’s something about being at home alone and finally getting that moment of silence, or stepping outside in the morning when no one is out and enjoying nothing but the wind. That’s a good piece of peace, right? Well there is also something about knowing that you’re not a part of any drama, knowing that life may not be exactly where you want it, but having the confidence in knowing that it’s exactly where God wants it to be. The peace that’s needed both mentally and spiritually. This is the peace that I want to discuss today.
There are so many times that I allow other people to come into my life and cast all of their drama and issues on me. I haven’t quite mastered the art of just listening and not solving. As of late though, I have found myself getting better at this. I am a cancer, so it’s in my nature to take on other people’s issues and trying very hard to find a resolution. Even if that means disturbing my own life, especially if it’s someone that I truly care about. This is something that it took me a while to notice, something that I truly had to take to God.
I was talking one day to my husband and we got into an argument, based on someone else’s situation. This is when I was like “Oh Hell No”, this will not happen in my life. I took time to myself at that point and decided that I can’t be an ear for everyone. Simply because I have no balance. I had to accept the fact that I wasn’t superwoman and everybody’s issue wasn’t my own. This is the way that I felt I could show people that I really love them. But, once I took time to myself, I realized that there are too many ways in this world to show that I love someone, rather than taking on their problems.
Once I found my own peace and I mastered living within my own walls, I became very aware of what was going on in my household. I realized that my life at that time, in that very moment, was everything that I wanted. It was far more peaceful at home and around my husband than I had been thinking. I was living my life, but retaining other people’s situations and taking them on as issues of my own. When in all honesty, in my household a majority of these problems weren’t an issue in my home at all. Even now, I have to constantly remind myself that, people only want your opinion, or they just want you to listen, they aren’t always looking for a resolution. Crazily, I also had to realize, that a majority of the people that were talking to me, were never intentionally looking for me to solve their issues. And they surely wouldn’t want me ruining my household due to them simply venting. At least some of them weren’t, I also had to realize that some people wanted just that, that my life was good and they didn’t want that for me. (So, they, HAD TO GO). I also came to the realization that sometimes it’s ok to say NO. No, I don’t want to hear about your issues today, no I am not available, no I don’t want to be your counselor today. I had to learn to protect my own peace, taking time to myself, and blocking everyone else out, was ok. It was ok to enjoy and bask in the good in my life and stop trying to make an issue in my home. Take time to yourselves guys, you’re not always meant to be a listening ear, and if your friends and family can’t understand that, then clearly, they’re the ones with the issue.
Being the dumpster isn’t always comfortable, and sooner than later you will begin to smell like garbage. Be the master of your own intake and learn to acknowledge when enough is simply enough.