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  • Choose who you open up to wisely. Only a few actually care, the rest are just curious.

    -Unknown-

    So if you are a person who reads and believes in the zodiac signs and everything they say about you as a person based on your DOB, then you should be very familiar with what I am about to express. According to my zodiac sign I am not one of the hardest, but the hardest sign to open up and get to know. While I like to read my astrology quotes from time to time, I never believed anything that it said. I’m one of those people that honestly thinks that I am who I say I am and I don’t need some weirdo who was bored and think they know to tell me. What I will say though is as I have gotten older, I still believe that I am what I say I am, but I have found a lot of what the daily quotes read are actually true. So here is one that has truly been on my mind.

    One of the hardest things for me to do is to open up and actually allow people to see the inside of me. I have never felt the need to allow everyone into my world, simply because in my opinion its to close for comfort. If I were to be honest that’s not just mentally, thats physically, and spiritually as well. As a child I was never one of those kids that thought everybody just loved and believed in me, I was actually the complete opposite because of so much that I heard people say about me. to be closed off or not let people know how I truly felt about things and just keep my emotions bottled up became normal for me. If you hurt my feelings, pissed me off, or even turned on me (disloyal) in any way, I would just walk away and be done with you and the situation. In my mind you knew what you did and there was no need for discussion.

    Now that I am an adult, I can honestly see where this can at some point cause an issue. First and foremost, being a wife, I had to learn to open up and if you were to ask my husband he still is trying to get to know me and force me to open up. What I will say though is he knows more about me than anyone (lol) isn’t that the way its supposed to be. Also being with him I have to learn to do things out of my character because he is very friendly and in order to keep the peace I have to learn to talk to people and show myself friendly, which is also great for me because through him I have met some pretty amazing people.┬áSecondly being a mom, I have learned that I have to open up to other mothers and even my family members at times. I’ve never been a mom so advice is always something that I take from those I feel should be giving it. This is not to say that I don’t talk to my family because I do, but there are pieces of me that I don’t share with them either. Considering I want to know more about being a mom and what could possibly be best for my baby, there are things that I would normally never share that I have learned are needed. Thirdly, being in the business that I am in talking and sharing is very much needed in order for you to gain a crowd and clientele. I am starting to go out more and make sure when I do go out I am not just standing alone.

    I just recently went on a trip and a discussion came up about me and my friendliness, how I don’t know. Anyway during the conversation I was told that I am not inviting, which is kind of something I have always been told. In school my peers used to always tell me that I looked mean and even when they tried to talk to me or start a conversation, that I was mean. At that time I really didn’t care because friends weren’t a goal for me, I was cool just being who I was and hanging with who I was already cool with. I am the girl that you would normally see in the back of the room by herself and if I know someone or people then I may be with them, but I am not a mixer or a mingler. With the friends and family that I have, to say that they know a lot or everything about me would be a lie, but I do try and open up a bit more than normal. My secrets are mine, but I am truly working on just sharing my experiences without feeling like they will one day be used against me. So to end this in the spirit of something new I have five fun facts for you guys. DON’T JUDGE ME LOL.

    1. I’ve always felt the need to work hard because I’ve always felt the least liked or expected to succeed. (Not by my parents, but others).
    2. I’m very uncomfortable being the center of attention.
    3. When I was younger I hated being the child of ministers, toooo much pressure. Sometimes even now.
    4. The thing I fear most in life is failure.
    5. I hate to cry because I feel its a sign of weakness. (I know its not true) I need to work on showing emotions.

    Please share with me a few fun facts and any pointer for opening up!

    I am only in my truest form when I am alone, but being alone is a current fear.

    -Jai-

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