In the time that I have been considered grown and what you would call an adult, I have learned a lot, seen a lot, and had to make some sometimes hard decisions. Some of the things/people that I have loved or cared about the most I have had to let go of. Whenever we are letting go of something we think that’s it and there will be no more of that thing or person, but does goodbye always mean forever? I have learned that sometimes when I say Goodbye it could possibly be forever or sometimes just a season. There have been so many obstacles in my life that I have had to trump and conquer both mentally and physically. I will be the first to say, that though most may think I am mean and cold some of the people and things that I had to rid of were the most difficult tasks.
So I am not the friendliest person at all, but what I have learned about myself is that because of that, when I do find a friend I care very much and I love hard. I am the kind of person that gives what I know I expect and that is not always reciprocated. In saying that I have had to learn to be me contrary to the faults that others may have, but also not to allow anyone to take advantage of me. I have had a few friendships that have been epic failures and have not benefited me in any way form or fashion. Some of which I invested a majority of my time and made sure that that person was always ok and knew that if no one else I was one that they could always count on. I can’t say that I stopped doing that, but I have learned how to brace myself and if its not beneficial to me how to cut it without always being brutal.
In cutting those relationships I have found that it gave me time to grow and learn a lot more about myself. Now some of those relationships have been completely cut off and some I just needed a break, but I can’t stop being who God wants me to be in their life, but doing to much and allowing way more than needed, NEGATIVE. Another thing that I’ve learned is my family really is my foundation. Of course my family isn’t perfect so that doesn’t include everyone in my friend category, but a majority of my generation have developed very strong relationships and we are very close. We have also found out that a lot of us are a lot alike and none of us have very many friends outside of each other. No one will ever understand me the way they do and I have come to appreciate that greatly.
That being said I have also had to say goodbye to some of those relationships as well (family). It doesn’t mean that I am no longer your people so don’t talk to me, it just means that I can’t be who you want anymore, but my love will not change. I have been in situations where the closest people to me (at least I thought) have turned on me and joined forces to come against me. Talking about me, exposing things about my personal life, and just doing and saying things that I never EVER thought would be said by them, but if I were to be honest, that situation helped me to grow so much and taught me more than I ever thought. I haven’t just completely cut those people off, but the dynamic of our relationship is very different and because I have forgiven truthfully I can still be me without going over board.
Goodbye is not always directed towards people, but sometimes the role you played, the time you invested, and the energy you’ve given. Always trust your inner being, most of the time it never lies and in that time alone after goodbye you find peace and learn more about yourself. Say Goodbye to all those things/people that could possibly be holding you back from the goals, priorities, and growth you can attain. Allow yourself to be all things that you once were to everyone else and watch how much it benefits you. Now does this mean that I was perfect in all things and I never played a role in the wrong doing, not at all, but in order to fix my part or even see my wrong I needed time alone.
There is always a good in Goodbye, even if that goodbye is just temporary. Sometimes you just need to take a breather to appreciate or notice who that person may be in your life.
To say Bye, most of the time means I will see you later, but Goodbye means I wish you nothing but the best and maybe that’s without me.