I had a grand realization this week while talking to my friend. It was something that was already on my mind, but for some reason in this conversation it became so real to me. The topic for today is, “What are you willing to accept?”. Now, when I say this, I mean in all aspects of life. We set boundaries in our lives, but sometimes because things seem so perfect or because it looks like our idea of perfection, then we accept way more than we should. Relationships as we all know come in more than one form, so we have to make sure that the expectations set are ones that we can apply to all situations. And I say that because it doesn’t matter what relationship you form, you’re always on the other end.
So, let’s talk friendships first! I’ve had so many realizations while reflecting on the relationships that I have with other people for the past year. I have decided that there are some things that I just will not tolerate, entertain, or pacify. When I become invested in a friendship, I go in wholeheartedly, and I know sometimes that’s a flaw for me. But, hey I’m a cancer, I don’t care often, but when I do, I CARE. So, I noticed with a few of my friendships they seemed to be very one sided and I was the one always reaching out, giving time, trying to create time, and showing concern. So, I decided that enough is enough. I will be giving others exactly what they give me and if that means that the relationship dissipates then, so be it. I know my worth as a friend and I know that with some people it’s not intentional, therefore I will bring it up once maybe twice, but after that it’s a wrap for me. That is for everyone in my life at this point. Simply because it’s better for me. I feel like if you really want me to be a part of your life then I will be able to feel that and we will be able to give and exist as friends equally. If I feel that what I am giving isn’t equal, then I will definitely retreat. Now, I do understand that everyone has a life outside of friendships and things of that sort, but I can feel when it truly just isn’t there. And let’s be honest most friendships start off like lightening and they’re strong and seem to be lifelong. Then for one reason or another something changes, maybe you realize that it really isn’t for you or you realize that you just don’t have time. But, in my opinion it’s as simple as a conversation. Basically, treat others how you want to be treated!
Now, as far as intimate relationships are concerned, I feel like sometimes we look for a lot of the exterior prior to looking at what is being brought to the table. Like for instance, we will skip a date with someone just because they are not what our idea of “our type” is. I do understand that physical attraction is a must for some of us, but also some of the stuff that we look for and want is ridiculous. They can have one flaw in our opinion and because of that we shut it down. If I were to be this way, then I can honestly say that I would have missed out on the best thing that has ever happened in my life. There are things and wants that you must be able to alter in order to be open to receive your hearts true joy. He may not make the money you want right now, but he adores you, works hard to try to create the future he wants for both himself and you, but because he isn’t your idea of a successful man right now, then he isn’t worth entertaining? Sometimes you have to be willing to take one minor in order to receive the major reward! That doesn’t mean accept anything, but it does mean don’t be so petty! If you’re single and marriage is your goal, then you have time to date and decipher. What I mean by that, is have fun, enjoy the dinners, lunches, and other treats on the table, but also take that time to observe who makes you feel the way you desire, rather than who meets your outer expectations. The best gifts aren’t always wrapped in the best paper, but man when you open that gift and make it your own……It can become the gift that you didn’t even know you wanted.
Life isn’t always laced in what you dreamed of or thought you wanted, but sometimes if you let destiny set in and God do his work, then you will see that what you dreamed of was nothing compared to what you will receive!